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Apartments in Rio de Janeiro are now being ravaged by turtles

By Thelma Costaletta


Turtles, that's right, turtles. Yeah, sure they seem like they travel sluggish at first. They appear tame. They seem like they wouldn't do you a harm in the world. Just roaming about on random pieces of real estate, nibbling on pieces of fruit. Well, my friend, I'm sorry but you are lulled into a false sense of security. You see, the turtles of Rio de Janeiro happen to be plotting on us for quite a while now. They are giant marauding godless killing machines. And they are coming over to our apartments and hotels for a meal.

Anyone who has watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles knows what these cold blooded reptiles are capable of. Kung fu, karate and all sorts of other violence and shenanigans. We haven't even gotten to the snapping turtles yet. Those are being kept in reserve, waiting to be unleashed when turtles rain hell on Rio de Janeiro. Your dazzling beaches of Copacabana and Ipanema will a vacation no more. It's turtle time and we're about to be shell shocked.

So how will the invasion begin? Well first they will send their little minions out to be grabbed by people and brought home to their flats and apartments. Even tourists will take them to their hotels. The idea is to have them as pets, in small aquariums. Little does anyone know that these acrobatic little devils are just lulling you into a false sense of security. Those rentals and accommodations that you thought would make for a nice little holiday will now be a hunting ground for these cold blooded reptilian murders. Without warning they will jump out from the little cardboard box you put them in and bite your flipping nose off!

So what are the recommendations to deal with these armored invaders? Whether you are residing in apartments, hotels, or flats the fact stays that you are still susceptible. Needless to say it usually is possible that you can find rentals that'll be more secured accommodations keep in mind that the threat continues to be. The shelled assassins of Rio de Janeiro are coming for you, any time now.

Needless to say you probably never would have thought that your stay in Ipanema or Copacabana would be like this. Who could possibly calculate a turtle invasion of this scale. That's right, no one. It was their strategy all along. The greatest trick that the devil ever played was convincing the world that he didn't exist. Apparently these aggresive little tortoises have played the same type of trick.




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