The Great Funny T-Shirts Experiment
Are you made of stone? Were you born with some rare disorder that prevents you from laughing? Are you a Catholic priest? If you answered "no" to all of these questions, then you are not immune to the charming spell that funny t-shirts cast on us all. Some people are a harder nut to crack then others, but I took it upon myself to find a funny t-shirt that even the most stoic individuals can't help but laugh at.
The first person I picked for Project: Funny T-Shirts Ambush Surprise was one of the toughest, though I honestly picked her because I thought being a blood relation might help me get a pity laugh from her. Instead, I could sense that she resented me for being born in a generation that had a chance to be happy...namely, anytime that isn't the Great Depression.
I knew right off the bat that something with physical comedy would be my best bet. Old people love seeing people fall down, get smacked, or hit with pies. I have no clue why, except that during the Depression the only thing to laugh at were when people would get stabbed outside your door for food. However, when I showed up to my gran's house with the best of my funny t-shirts, I could swear that she might have maybe smiled. No outright laughter, but perhaps the ghost of a smile. For someone as old as she is, that counts as outright laughter.
I was feeling good after I made my granny dearest kinda-sorta smile. I needed to keep up my momentum, make another selection from my pile of funny t-shirts, and find a new subject for my experiment. I chose very carefully from between this insane military dude I've known for awhile and an insane preacher who has wanted to burn me at a stake for many years. Choosing a bullet over the slow death of being burnt alive, I went for the lunatic with guns.
I would say that this guy I planned on meeting hates me because I dated his daughter. I would say that, except that other guys have dated his daughter and not had to endure hateful, half-threats and fear tactics taught by the world's most aggressive military. I was already standing at the foot of his steps when I started thinking about how stupid this whole thing was and that funny t-shirts couldn't protect me from the pain this man was about to inflict on me.
I now know the power of funny t-shirts, and will never doubt them again. I can't even remember what kind of shirt I was wearing, because the maniac scared me so bad when he opened the door that I took my shirt off, threw it in his face, and ran the hell away. When I was about a block away, I could hear him laughing and realized that it wasn't the sound of some monster dog coming after me. The gun-nut crazy guy was laughing...most likely because I stripped my shirt off and ran away before he said a word. That doesn't matter though. The experiment was a success.
The first person I picked for Project: Funny T-Shirts Ambush Surprise was one of the toughest, though I honestly picked her because I thought being a blood relation might help me get a pity laugh from her. Instead, I could sense that she resented me for being born in a generation that had a chance to be happy...namely, anytime that isn't the Great Depression.
I knew right off the bat that something with physical comedy would be my best bet. Old people love seeing people fall down, get smacked, or hit with pies. I have no clue why, except that during the Depression the only thing to laugh at were when people would get stabbed outside your door for food. However, when I showed up to my gran's house with the best of my funny t-shirts, I could swear that she might have maybe smiled. No outright laughter, but perhaps the ghost of a smile. For someone as old as she is, that counts as outright laughter.
I was feeling good after I made my granny dearest kinda-sorta smile. I needed to keep up my momentum, make another selection from my pile of funny t-shirts, and find a new subject for my experiment. I chose very carefully from between this insane military dude I've known for awhile and an insane preacher who has wanted to burn me at a stake for many years. Choosing a bullet over the slow death of being burnt alive, I went for the lunatic with guns.
I would say that this guy I planned on meeting hates me because I dated his daughter. I would say that, except that other guys have dated his daughter and not had to endure hateful, half-threats and fear tactics taught by the world's most aggressive military. I was already standing at the foot of his steps when I started thinking about how stupid this whole thing was and that funny t-shirts couldn't protect me from the pain this man was about to inflict on me.
I now know the power of funny t-shirts, and will never doubt them again. I can't even remember what kind of shirt I was wearing, because the maniac scared me so bad when he opened the door that I took my shirt off, threw it in his face, and ran the hell away. When I was about a block away, I could hear him laughing and realized that it wasn't the sound of some monster dog coming after me. The gun-nut crazy guy was laughing...most likely because I stripped my shirt off and ran away before he said a word. That doesn't matter though. The experiment was a success.
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